Journal 11: Fire Finding

Is that a signal fire? Possibly one of our crew... we should go see. I steered the boat toward the lit island. I could smell the disgustingly sweet smell of burnt foliage, making my nose wrinkle up.
I saw brown ashes rise from the sky scraping trees that towered above the island. My crew lowered the anchor as we came to a halt. I put my cap on and brushed my uniform so I could look a bit presentable. Then I walked off of the ship and onto the grainy sand. I heard a cry coming from the left of the boat. It sounded as if it were pleading for mercy. I wonder what could have happened here. I heard a ululation coming from him again and noticed the youth in his voice that made it seem he was only a boy. I stepped closer, trying to get a better glimpse at him. The boy was lying on the floor, cowering. He was squirming nonstop and yelling out random things. I thought I heard something about a piggy thing or something like that. I couldn't tell what he was shrieking about. I cringed as I stepped closer to him and I smelled a strong scent of someone who hasn't bathed in months. His face looked as if one of those army dogs tore his face apart or something to that effect. Either way, he looked like he had just been in war with someone or something. I wasn't sure which.
I stood there for moment and looked at the squirming boy. Then, he stood up and looked at me, quivering from the adrenaline he had just witnessed. He glanced at me with an unconvinced look that seeped across his face. He blinked twice, I mimicked. "Hullo," I said in a questioning voice. The boy looked closer to me as if he were examining if I were real or not.
"Hullo," the boy answered in an unsure voice. I nodded at the silent question that I think he asked in his mind...Is he real?...
"Are there any adults- any grownups with you?" I said desperate, hoping that there were. Then to my disgrace, there was none as he shook his head slowly.
I heard a stampede of animals of some sort coming from a small trail that led out of the daunting forest. Then there was savage like boys running out of the forest with spears and painted with mud that covered their body. The boy that stood in front of me shuddered at the sight of them. I couldn't help but blench at the sight of their savage look as well. This was stupid though... how could I, a naval officer, be afraid of little English school boys? I was far superior to them. I cleared my voice and stood up straighter, looking the boy that didn't stand in the semi-circle like the others.
"Fun and games," I spat. I grinned at the boy, "We saw your smoke. What have you been doing? Having a war or something?" I laughed a bit as I visualized little boys having pure wars. I bet the worst injury they had was the scars they had on their faces and sunburn tanned bodies. The boy nodded. I joked, "Nobody killed, I hope? Any dead bodies?"
"Only two. And they've gone," he informed me honestly. I stood there, still, wondering how long they had been on the island for. How far did they go to insanity? I mean that just crosses the line for killing. I wanted to elaborate a bit more but I was afraid to ask. I really didn't want to know.
I leaned down to whisper to the boy.
"Two? Killed?" I asked astonished. He nodded once more. I peered out at the group of boys, astonished by their behavior. I wondered if that was what the others were going to do to him. Kill him? Torture? Imprison him? Then there was a flow of more boys coming out of th4e forest like a river of boys of all ages. One came up to me.
"I'm, I'm-" he said confused and let down. Had he forgotten his own name? Or was it that he was awestruck by my existence?
I asked more questions. This reminded me so much of Coral Island. Only that seemed happier... I remember when I was just a little boy like all of them and I dreamed to be stranded on an island with all of my friends. I think it would be a great adventure full of glory. To this day, I still dream of going back to those days and finding treasure on what we thought was deserted and being gone from home and coming back with loads of treasure. I sighed and smiled a little at the thought of it. I didn't seem like their adventure was as pleasant as my dreams had been. I wonder what they did when they weren't fighting... Probably enjoying the sun, having no worries all day... fresh fruit... no work...nothing... This will be an experience that the boys will never forget. I wish I had something like that when I was their age. I glanced out at my ship, the only thing that gave me excitement in my life. I was proud of what it could cause. It was a great ship.
The boy was trying to tell me how it used to be organized but it never came out of him so I interjected, "I know. Jolly good show. Like the Coral Island," I said, going back to my thought about Coral Island. Then all of a sudden, the boy that stood right before me started to break down and cry. That caused a domino effect when all of the other boys broke down in to earthquaking sobs. I looked down at them, feeling a tingle of embarrassment come across me. What was a naval officer doing here with a bunch of wimpy kids? I was about to heave him up from him knees but stopped as I started to actually feel a bit sorry for the kid. Who knows how long they have all been here for. By the reek of their body, it smells like millenniums. I shall bring them all home as soon as I can. I'm sure their family will be more than ecstatic to see them once again.
It must have been more than ten minutes until all of the tears stopped rolling down the boys dirty faces. When they stopped, I took them all aboard my ship and started to sail back, none of them looking back at the slowly burning island....

Journal 10: The Shards of Civilization

We breathed hard, and tried to flex our legs but had no room. We were cramped in a small area with nowhere to move. It was dark and clammy and very uncomfortable under the sharp rocks bulging out into our backs and tied together like a wild animal.
"You okay?"
"I think so-"
"Just a bit -"
"Uncomfortable.."
"It was a stupid idea to come over here and try to retrieve the glasses. Instead of gaining, we lost many. Piggy.... poor Piggy...poor Ralph... -"
"Oh, poor Ralph...Stuck with the littluns. No one there-"
"Not even us..." We began to whimper at the thought of being here, help prisoner in this small space.
"Will this be the end?"
"I don't know. If it is, we'll be dying for what is right," we felt a sudden burst of pride pop into our gut. It made us feel heroic and great.
"Just like Grandpa did for England!"
"Right!"
"I just wish that-"
"They didn't steal the glasses," than we got quiet as we thought about it. We really did hate how he had to steal the glasses. First of all, Piggy needed his specs to see and second of all, we don't have a signal fire! It is Ralph's philosophy, to keep the fire going. This is the reason why we even have a fire going. Even though cooking with it is nice as well but we would rather go back to our own home where we can have as much meat as we please. It seems only the logical thing to do. If only it were the way it was before... everyone united under one conch. We can't say that everyone got along but it was better than being separated like this. We really do feel sorry for Ralph. First he looses most of our group and then he looses all of his hope of going home then he looses the ones that help him around. We just hope that Ralph will be okay and returns home. Even if we don't, he deserves to go back.
"I'm scared-"
"I know, me too."
"I don't wanna join Jack's group-"
"Why would we?"
"Good point."
"I think I'd rather die than join his group."
"Yeah me too..."
"I just wish we were still in Ralph's group though-
"Jack is frightening-"
"He'll beat us if he wants or even-"
"Stab us with his spear," We both shivered at the thought of that. It was true, Jack was terribly scary. The first time we saw him, we knew that Jack Merridew was no good. The way he lead his choir was intimidating. We pictured that first day in our mind and quivered whenever we thought of it. That was the beginning of a big mess. We are all forgetting home and where we came from. Now it's easy to believe that there is no way out. At first it was just fun and games but now.....now it was serious. People are dying left and right and it is horrible. We are afraid that next it will be... us... Piggy's death was no accident... that was all Jack and his stupid followers. We still had flashes of Piggy, laying on the ground, dead and Simon screaming and crying as we attacked him. We can't deny that it was us that murdered him just like Jack can't deny he murdered Piggy. It was no accident. It was straight out on purpose.
"I bet Jack and Ralph aren't going to see each other in a while..."
"Yeah..."
"In the beginning of our life on the island-"
"It seemed fine between them. Jack was the leader of the hunters and Ralph was the leader. It seemed as simple as that but no. Jack wanted to be leader because of his stupid power hungry instincts."
"Now Jack is more superior than Ralph and that is something we cannot contradict." We were getting tired and closed our eyes, trying to picture what it looked like at home.
"I wonder what mum is doing right now...."

Journal 9: Glass Making

I woke up to a ruffle of leaves rustling in my ear. My eyes blinked twice for my brain to catch up with my actions. It was blurry so I reached for my glasses but grabbed air instead. I shuddered and my heart started to thump. My arms started to move swiftly around my shaking body. I paused to think and remembered.... My glasses were stolen.... gone.....for good.... My eyes closed and my heart started to thump and I suddenly sat there, still... I felt a chill roll down my spine as I thought of how I would ever cope without my glasses. How will I see? How are we going to make our fire? We need my glasses. I started to pant at the thought of those horrible thoughts. I felt my throat start to build a pain and my cheeks began to burn and turn red. My eyes started to water and my sight began to become even fuzzier. I swallowed trying to choke up the pain that started to build in my throat. I blinked a few times to clear my eyes. Than I heard the leaves crumple outside of our dilapidated hut and I sniffed and wiped my eyes. Ralph walked in, hunched over and sleep deprived. I was afraid to say anything to him on an account of what had happened the night before and Simon's death. I've been afraid to talk to him lately. There could be something I say that would crack his outer shell and he may burst into tears. Who knows.... But I don't want to see Ralph that way. I feel horrible enough know with Jack dominating and murdering Simon and the theft of my glasses. It was my fault though.... I should have watched my glasses more carefully...
"It was my fault that the glasses were stolen!" I interjected. Oh man, how stupid could I get? He needs his space... He doesn't need to worry about me and my thoughts....
Ralph turned his head slowly glancing down at my squinting eyes. I couldn't see clearly but I could have sworn I saw a small tear trickle down his mud stained face. He closed his eyes and said, "No Piggy, it was my fault.... I'm the leader.... It's mine..." He opened them and glanced down at me and sniffed than slowly turned his head to look out in front of him and headed out of the hut. I sighed and shook my head. I feel so horrible. I guess I should help him with the littluns. I got up from my sitting position and headed out of the hut. I looked out onto the horizon and I saw the rocks around the lagoon smothered in moss. I remembered the first day on the island and I thought that it was an adventure..... One of the adventures that came right out of a story book that my auntie used to read to me. It was and adventure that I always wanted to happen in real life to me. But then when I actually have it... it's different...I actually am part of the story and the horrible parts, the parts in the book that made me stay up all night thinking about it, was real. This was reality... my story... my book.... and I don't like it either...
I heard Samneric playing and laughing on the shore near the moss covered rocks. They looked at me excitedly and gave gesticulate motions for me to come to them. Oh great, what do the twits want now? How can they be so happy at a time like this? I walked over to them with nothing else to do. I gave a sigh and paced down the shore, trying to be careful about my asthma. The boys don't need anymore worries on their shoulders...especially not from me. I've caused enough trouble and I don't want to cause anymore with a stupid asthma attack.
I reached Samneric and they stopped making their desperate gestures.
"We've got an idea!" Sam announced aloud.
"We could-"
"-Make our own glass-"
"With all of this-"
"Sand!"
"Yeah! And heat!-"
I rolled my eyes up, "That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard in my life. First of all, we would need it to be extremely hot! And second of all, it is impossible to make glass out in the middle of nowhere, with no resources that would help us. Nothing at all! We have nothing! Can't you see that?!"
I saw Eric flinch at my reaction, "Okay...um...-"
"We were just...-" Sam said weakly.
"Suggesting...." They quickly ran off to the huts, whispering to each other.
I closed my eyes slowly and sat on the wet sand. I guess I over reacted just a bit....too much... Oh well...
In my mind I could see an reenactment of Simon, floating there hopelessly in the water, surrounded by the phosphorescence animals. I cringed at the thought of Simon and his death. I couldn't stop thinking about our conversation yesterday morning. We all knew we were there... just we didn't want to admit it. We were all part of the circle...but we didn't want to believe it... I didn't either, but it was actuality. We can't deny it, it was only the truth. But a part of me blames all of this on Jack. To the point where I would like to stifle him. Well, now I really do want to because of the event of last night. I just don't think I can handle it any longer. Jack needs to go and I want to do him in. Okay, back to reality... like I would ever have the courage and ability to do someone in.....

Journal 8: The Split of the Conch

The singing.... the food.... the fire.... the people. I was ecstatic with laughter and a full stomach. Although I felt bad for Ralph being alone with Piggy all night and us ditching him, it sure was fun. Jack sat upon his "throne" and we danced around the fire with our spears and matching decorated faces. When I came to the feast, I was welcomed by a joyous group of older boys, Jack, Maurice, Bill and Robert, Henry and Roger. They put left over pigs blood on my cheeks and vertically down my face. It felt warm against my skin like liquidized sunshine. It felt good but queerly disturbing. It made me feel like I was truly a hunter, not afraid of anything. It sure did feel good though. I was usually one of the boys that did nothing all day but took bathes and had fun but I did want to help. Maybe if I join Jack's crew, I could be apart of the hunters. Aside from Ralph's group which builds huts and keeps the fire going all day. I don't know if that is the way to go. Although it is important, I just believe that it would be best if we thought about what we should be doing now, not building a fire. Eventually, someone is going to find us. The army probably will sometime or another. I just believe that hunting is the way to go. Everyone needs meat and we need to kill the beast to be safe. That should be our main priority.... to be safe.
We danced all night and it has been so much fun. Roger threw me another slab of meat and I sat down and munched on it. The tender, juicy meat made my mouth water. It was so great, I wish we had this every night. I saw the twins dancing and started to chant.... "Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood! Do him in!" I laughed and got up and started to dance. I joined in the chant too. We held our spears to the fire as if it were the beast. Then we all laughed and started to dance and eat again.
Than, Ralph and Piggy came to the feast and everything stopped... People moved over to the grass, pretending that they were not eating. I looked over at Sam who turned red as he put down his half eaten meat. I looked over at Ralph who was looking back and forth from the pig to us. He looked disappointed but had a savory glimmer to his eyes that made him look hungry for the cooking meat. Piggy yelped at a boy bumping into him with a greasy, sizzling piece of meat. I couldn't help but giggle a bit. Piggy was such a wimp sometimes.
"Take them some meat," Jack ordered. Two of the boys cut a thick piece of meat and brought it over to them. Ralph looked down at his meat that was in his hands and looked like he was beginning to drool. Once Piggy was handed his meat, he put it to his mouth and a big dribble of cooked blood came down on his chin, dripping down to the ground. Ralph looked over to Piggy then followed his lead. I looked up at the sky and saw the clouds slowly coming in. I hope that a storm won't come. At this point, I'm not sure if I will be welcomed to sleep in one of the huts that Simon and Ralph made.
"Has everybody eaten as much as they want?" Jack said in a loud, booming voice. I was afraid of him sometimes. I looked over to see if there was anymore meat. There was more but I don't think I could handle anymore, I was so full.
"Has everybody eaten as much as they want?" He said more impatiently this time. Everyone ate fast, including me. Mostly out of fright of Jack. But my grandma always told me to be close to my friends but even closer to my enemies. I never thought that I would be doing that but it does work very well.
"Give me a drink," Jack ordered Henry. Henry quickly went to go get him a half of a coconut shell filled with water. Piggy and Ralph went farther back and so did I.
"All sit down," Jack announced to all of us. We all sat on one of the logs. I knew what it was going to lead to and I was very frightened...
"Who is going to join my tribe?" I was right... my heart sank and my stomach turned upside down. I looked at Ralph who looked purple in the face...

Journal 7: The Lord of the Flies

I was so thirsty, I couldn't go on. I had to take a rest.... I took one more step toward the mat of creepers and leaves. I stepped onto it and dizzily sat down on it heaving in and out. I closed my eyes than opened them again. My eyes followed the dancing iridescent, beautiful butterflies. The sun reflected against their symmetrical wings like they were out of a story book like the one my mom used to read to me. Tales about the beauty of nature and princesses and princes. I miss that a lot.
I hope no one will come looking for me... Well, they probably won't.... They all think I'm batty. Ralph said it himself. I just really do think that we should climb the mountain to find the beast and if no one will do it, I'll just do it myself then. Someone has got to end this mess. I can't stand the littuns whining and now with Jack gone, everyone doesn't think we can do anything. I still don't believe that there really is a beast. I just want to prove there isn't. Well, maybe with Jack gone now, more people would believe me that there isn't a beast and really us. But who knows, maybe there is a beast. I just want this feud to end, there is just too many fights and someone is eventually going to get hurt.

Then, my train of thought was abolished by the sound of a squeal of terror, then the tear a rip of what seemed like skin. I heard the chatter of boys, bemused in their accomplishment. Was it the beast, did they find the beast? I looked where they were but than I heard the voices of Jack and other boys.
"Chief-" said one of the followers.
"Uh-?" Jack replied half of his attention on the questioning boy.
"How can we make a fire?"
I took a step closer to hear but I stepped on a leaf and made the crinkling noise that could eventually give away where I was so I stood there, as still as I could be.
"We'll raid them and take fire. There must be four of you; Henry and you, Bill and Maurice. We'll put on paint and sneak up; Roger can snatch a branch while I say what I want. The rest of you can get this back to where we were. We'll build fire there. And after that-" Jack paused from his speech...
"But we'll leave part for the kill..." Jack ended with an ominous tone in his voice that made my spine shiver. I should worn Ralph... But he would probably just say I'm "batty" and not listen. I wouldn't help anyways, Jack has power that is strangely unmatchable. I wonder what they are talking about a "part for the kill." I heard the talk die down as the loud foot steps wondered off. I took a step closer to where the boys were once and I moved the creepers out of the way to see what they had done. My eyes went wide and my stomach turned. Right before me was the blood drenched head of a boar skewered on a sharpened stick. The mouth was opened as if it were talking. It's black coal eyes glared at me. I stepped closer bewildered by the sight and turned on the side but where ever I moved, the bodiless head still had it's eyes gazing at me from it's position. Flies all at once started to invade the head of the pig. Flies went everywhere, in it's blood dripping mouth to the tips of his ear. The look in his lifeless eyes said that everything was not good. Everything that they were doing was bad.
"I know that," I said, not knowing that I had said that aloud. I suddenly felt embarrassed by my sudden reply. Was I really going crazy? I turned away from the taunting pig. What if the beast did not come for his present? The boar and he seemed to agree by the sight of him.
Run away, go back to the others. It was a joke really... Why should you bother? You were just wrong, that's all. A little headache, something you ate, perhaps. Go back, child, said the still boar. I wasn't sure if the pig was really talking to me or if it was purely me going mad. It could be the lack of water, I thought.
I looked up at the sky and saw the clouds rolling in and the pig, covered in flies posted in the air. Then, I felt a tickle rising up my leg. I looked down and saw a black fly with green streaks crawling up my leg. I tried to slap it off but it flew away too fast and then landed on the snout of the Lord of the Flies. He really was the Lord of the Flies. They were all of his subjects, clinging onto him. Then, another fly leaped on me and then another, and another. I swiftly moved my hand to where they had landed but that was no use. After they flew off, they would just move to another part of me. I felt like I was being swarmed, or drowned in flies. I felt like I was the Lord of the Flies as well. My right temple started thumping and didn't stop. I closed my eyes and listened to the thumping of my brain. I then heard the voice of the Lord of the Flies speak again, ringing in my ear...

Journal 6: Memories of Home

I looked out onto the horizon. Will I ever get off of this horrid island? I just can’t stand the boys. The littuns whining and Jack and his over obsessive hunting, I don’t think I can handle it any longer. I closed my eyes and felt the cool, salty air press against my dirty face like my moms clammy hands surrounding my face. I missed my life at home. The warm bed covers tight around my body on rainy days and the real food that my mom would make. I opened my eyes to a soft, settle voice that spoke in my ear. It had hope but the tone in his voice made my heart sink. He had sadness to it.
“You’ll get back from where you came from.” I sure hope so but at this rate, I can’t determine whether it’s true or not. I looked up at Simon, trying to find an answer.
“It’s so big, I mean-” I looked at Simon more carefully to find a break in his face.
“All the same. You’ll get back all right. I think so anyway,” Simon said softly. I don’t think it’s going to happen. I wish I did but I didn’t.
“Got a ship in your pocket?” I said trying to lighten things up a bit. Simon cracked a little smile and shook his head evenly. His matted hair blew steadily in the salty wind, “How do you know then? I added. Simon had nothing to say or any action to do, “You’re batty,” I announced trying to break the silence. It was true though, he was quite crazy.

“No, I’m not. I just think you’ll get back alright,” he replied defensively. I started to smile and so did he. Whenever I’m around Simon, I can’t help but feel happy. He brings the hope in everything. I don’t know what I would do without him. He has a motherly way to him that makes me feel like I’m being looked after. I’m sure glad he’s here on this island with me and these other nut case boys. Simon walked away and sat on a moss covered boulder. I glanced at him then quickly turned my head back onto the horizon that my father will hopefully be sailing by to save us all.

I don’t know how long I was sitting there but I was rudely interrupted from my day dream by Jack, “Ralph-we need meat even if we are hunting the other thing.”

I looked over at Jack who was crouched down on the ground that was covered with droppings. Jack was holding one in his hands as if they were sacred. Oh great. I really don’t feel like hunting right now. I saw the hunters huddle together and flinch off and on about talk of the beast. They grabbed their spears which rested against a thick tree. I then grabbed my spear that was on top of the rock that I was sitting upon. I held my spear close to my chest.

We all moved slowly towards the pig run. I glanced at one of the hunters whose tan shirtless back was covered with scratches and dirt caked onto in. I couldn’t imagine my back looking any better. Oh how I would love to take a nice, warm bath with soap… That would be so wonderful. I remember when I hated to take bathes, now I would do anything for a real bath like that.

I heard the mumble and yells of boys start to erupt as I saw a flash of boar run past trying to get away. I tried to get closer and than Jack nudged me and tried to get further up than me. He fell while doing that action and I began to take aim. I swiftly moved my spear up to a position that I felt would hit the boar. My heart started racing and for a moment, I actually enjoyed the thrill of hunting. Then my mind came back to reality and I remembered that I was here for survival. I aimed than shot at the panicked boar. I squinted my eyes to see if I made the shot. There was a loud squeal coming from the boar. I walked closer trying to come for the kill but than I saw a swift movement and my hopes dropped. The boar was running away. Well, at least I injured it. I actually hit it! On my first shot too! I looked at Jack, he didn’t seem too pleased…

Interview with Jack

Me: So I hear that you have a very strong opinion on hunting pigs and the beast. Why so? Why do you think that Ralph doesn't approve of you hunting all of the time?

Jack: I really do believe that hunting is the most important factor of living. I mean everyone has to eat. Anyways, I don't think I can live on fruit forever. That is truly preposterous. Also, we need to kill the beast that is frightening the littluns and could potentially lead to danger. Seriously, I am getting sick of there whimpers in the middle of the night. It can get quite annoying sometimes, especially after a long day of hunting. I really don't see why Ralph is being like this. I think he's just jealous that I get to hunt all day and he has to build huts and keep everything organized. Personally, I think that I would be a way better leader than him. He needs to give out more punishments to the boys that go against the rules. And yes, there should be lots and lots of rules! Also I think he should get rid of that stupid fatty that tells him the "right" thing to do. But that is going off subject.


Me: I take it that you don't like Piggy. How come? Why do you treat him poorly? Isn't he just another kid on the island?

Jack: The fatty is annoying! I just can't help but criticize him. He always thinks he knows everything but he doesn't. He just sits on his butt all day picking his nose and telling us workers what we should do better. I just think he's worthless. The only thing he's good for is his glasses that start the fire. I don't see how Ralph can put up with his nonsense. I think that he just feels sorry for the fatty, I mean, who would actually like the whiner as a friend?

Me: Do you believe that you will capture the beast that the littluns always talk about? If so, do you think is comes from the water or ground? What evidence makes you believe that there even is a beast out there? What do you think about Simon's thought on the beast?

Jack: I do believe that there could be a beast but the only doubt that I have is that I've been hunting everywhere and I haven't seen a single monster looking animal anywhere. It is possible that it could come from the water or maybe in places that I haven't looked yet, that is if there is any. I don't especially want it to be in the water because that would mean me and the others having to most likely go into the water to do something. I just wouldn't like that very much. If there is a beast, than I think that we have a good chance of winning it over. We just need everyones help and we can conduct our gyration move like me did with the pig to go in for the kill. That seemed to work very well. As for Simon, I think that his thoughts about the whole beast being us is stupid. I mean, seriously, that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard! I think it's either a real beast or some other small animal that doesn't cause any harm.